


Rötkappchen's Tagebuch

by Gemini_Spark11



Series: Meet Me at the Avenue Between the Sakura and Purple Heather Hills [1]
Category: Norse Religion & Lore, Original Work
Genre: American Football, Arguments, Beaches, Cafe's, Chalk Cliffs of Dover, Chess, Dissociation, F/M, First Meetings, Forests, Getting a sunburn, Haunted Houses, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler References, Lucid Dreaming, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Picnics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prophetic Dreams, So be warned, Suicidal Thoughts, Symbolism, UPG, Written by a Lokean, York, and everything that comes with it, paintings, shape shifting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27167689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Spark11/pseuds/Gemini_Spark11
Summary: They say you shouldn't fall in love with a boy who's lost his mind.They say you shouldn't fall in love with a God.I just had to go and tear up the rulebook and do both!Title should mean "The Diary of Little Red Riding Hood" in German.
Relationships: Nari & Váli (Norse Religion & Lore), Vali/Original Character(s)
Series: Meet Me at the Avenue Between the Sakura and Purple Heather Hills [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949266
Comments: 3





	1. Dagaz

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SO HAPPY VALI LOKASON HAS A SEPARATE TAG ALL TO HIMSELF! Just sayin'. Oh, and before I forget... 
> 
> Hil de forlatte ulveprinsen! (If you speak Icelandic, you'll know what this means.)
> 
> Pardon my German grammar if it's incorrect- please feel free to point it out. Also, the title is a nod to Vali's involvement in 'The Incident', however unwillingly it may have been.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rune of new beginnings and open doors. It is said that the first ripple in the lake is often the largest.

_You fell in love with the storm. Do you really think you'd get out unscathed?_

I really wish that I had known that in the beginning. That being said though, I still love him, regardless of anything he's done or anything he will ever do in the future. I know that I've fallen in love with someone who you shouldn't do that with, but I went ahead and burnt the rulebook. (If one of his siblings is the World-Breaker, then I'm a rule breaker.)

People think that he became a recluse after the incident, and they're not entirely wrong, but he just needed the right person to take him out of his shell.

Are you ready to learn the truth about Loki's second youngest? Yes? Then settle down by the hearth and let us begin…

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting on the grass on one of the greens in the Walunton Hall. It was a sunny day, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Birds were singing, and I just wanted to enjoy summer.

Suddenly, something caught my eye. There, in the distance, was an albino stag with beady red eyes. The beast held my gaze for a moment before realising it had been spotted, and it then quickly fled through the woods.

I sprang up from my lazy position on the ground, and rapidly sprinted across the green. I kept yelling "Wait!" as my feet beat the grass one after another. I eventually ran across the green, lept over an old stone wall, and I was now chasing the same stag through the oak trees. The stag turned its head, and I saw their eyes widen in surprise. They obviously didn't expect me to be able to keep up with their galloping hooves.

This time, the haunting red eyes seemed to stare into my soul and I had to look away. Maybe I shouldn't have because the animal in front of me gave a cry like a hawk. I focused on the chase once more. Imagine my surprise when I see that the stag had changed shape into that of a bird. It wasn't like any other bird I haven't seen before. The beautiful creature had pristine white feathers, like a dove's, but in size was like a much larger bird of prey.

By now, I was extremely out of breath. The strange shape shifting creature had led me to a clearing in the words. There was a rocky outcrop in the middle of it. The moss surrounding the rock was an iridescent, emerald- like green. The same could be said of the grass at the base of the stone. The trees gave shade here, but it didn't block out the summer sun completely. The stag (or was it a bird at this point?) had disappeared from my view. I used it as an opportunity to catch my breath.

When I looked up again, I was still sweating, red faced with the exertion. Something had to take my breath away. Standing on the rock was a boy with snow white hair and crystal clear red eyes. It clicked in my mind that I must have been chasing this boy all along. He looked no older than 17, but his clothes made him look like he was from a different age in history. He had a shining green and gold shirt on, with matching trousers, which must double as chainmail. He had a dark blue cloak on with a hood that obscured his face slightly. It had bronze embroidery around the bottom of it and the shoulders.

With a start, I recognised this boy's features. I had seen him in another dream of mine, and I remembered seeing a cloak exactly like the one this boy was wearing right now.

"Who… Who are you?" I asked, panting.

The boy smiled in response, seemingly impressed that I had managed to keep up with him.  
  
"Everybody has forgotten my name, but you may call me Val, if you like." His voice was soft but authoritative, like a prince's. (I suppose that makes sense now, doesn't it?) It had a curious air to it as well.

I smiled back coyly, looking down, and I began playing with my hands in my lap.

I then felt a strong but sudden force pull me backwards. I must have hit my head on something, because then everything became black for a second.

I came to quickly, and I opened my eyes. The scene before me had drastically changed from the one in the forest. It was an old, abandoned manor with dim lighting.

I didn't know what room I was in, but I guess it was the dining room (even though there was no evidence to suggest I was right or otherwise.)

From my position in this mysterious room, I could see that there was a painting on the back wall. I moved closer to it, and I took the time to observe the painting in greater detail.

It was of a family (the family, who, I assumed owned this building) centred around the father. He was a sharp looking man with slick black hair, high cheekbones, and sparkling green eyes. There was a woman in the back of the painting. She looked like the eldest daughter or the wife of this man. She also had jet black hair, but hers was straight and long. I could see she was wearing a black dress with a veil. 

My eyes roamed over the painting before it locked on to a familiar face. The boy from earlier, Val. He had a traditional suit on this time and his hair was tucked into several neat plaits. His hands rested on the armchair his father was sitting in. He was smirking proudly in the painting.

Suddenly, I gasped. Val's eyes had changed colour. Instead of that rich, deep crimson from before, they were now a piercing, almost poisoning apple green. I may have imagined it then, but when I noticed this change, Val's smile in the painting grew a little wider, revealing more teeth. His eyes in the painting visibly twinkled with merriment at my observation too.

I woke up.


	2. This is How a Countess Captures a Prince (She Will Then Become His Queen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We know each other's names now. If it becomes something more, who will make the first move?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the tags about chess and Kuroshitsuji come into play, if you look close enough.

I didn't think much about the boy after we' d met then, for the first time. It was just a dream, I told myself. It isn't real. After all, aren't dreams just for fleeting fantasies of the mind? Logically, it shouldn't be that important in my waking life.

By His Mother's name, how wrong was I in that assumption? _Absolutely and utterly incorrect._

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wherever I found myself this time, I knew one thing that in this little pocket of reality: it would never be daytime here.

I was outside, in some unknown forest again. The sky was a solid shade of black, with tiny little stars twinkling overhead, winking at me as if these little balls of light knew something I didn't. Wondering where the heck I was, I did the one thing I should have done the second I arrived: I explored my surroundings.

After walking aimlessly for a few paces, I came across on wall of weeping willow trees, which were blocking my path. Determined, I pushed through them for some minutes before I got to the other side.

When I did get there, I was stunned. There was a lake in the middle of it, fortified by small slumps of grass all around. Weeping willows once again acted as some sort of protective barrier, or guards, as they stood, drooping a few metres away from every edge of the lake. There were fireflies dancing underneath them like fairy lights. I could see more stars here, behaving in much same way as the stars before the lake.

I saw Val sitting near the lake. From where I was I could see that he had a chessboard in front of him. A few pieces from either side of the board were still standing, whilst some were flat. He looked quite engrossed in the game, as he didn't notice my entrance into this secret place. From that, I can safely say that he was part way through the game already.

A sudden pang of guilt and pity hit me from where I stood. _Poor boy,_ I thought to myself, _Is he playing a game of chess on his **own**? He must be very lonely. Or bored._

At the same time, a hopeful voice rose within me. _You've always wanted to learn how to play chess, haven't you?_ It said to me slyly, whispering, _You now have the perfect teacher. Ask him._

Compelled by my thoughts, I sprinted over to him. I was about to sit down across from him, but then Val looked up, pausing mid-move with a black rook in hand, hovering it over a space, and then he smiled at me. It was the same smile he wore in the painting, bordering more on a victorious smirk.

His eyes were purple this time; a pastel shade of the colour, like lavender flowers. It made Val's face look more open than the last I'd seen him, softer even; the curves of it seemed to look less as if they'd been carved out of marble than carefully molded with clay like they did now.

"Care for a game?" he asked.

I nodded enthusiastically, in lieu of a verbal answer. I couldn't contain my excitement, let alone speak in coherent sentences! 

I was so wrapped in my joy, that I forgot to admit to Val that _I didn't actually know how to play chess._ By the time that I did realize it, Val had finished his go.

"Your turn." 

Underneath those words, I could tell that Val was more than happy to have a game, even if was with an inexperienced newbie like myself. In light of that, I was too ashamed to tell him the truth, fearing that I would ruin the mood. 

My hand curled around a white knight piece, and I shakily moved it a few places to the left and then upwards. I succeeded in capturing one of Val's pieces (I couldn't tell if it was a king or bishop, but it was one of those) and I felt incredibly smug. 

Val must have noticed, because he chuckled and smiled. 

"Nice move, Little Countess." 

I blushed, too flustered to say anything. 

I woke up. 

\----_-------------

It was only months later I realized what he actually said. He was trying to flirt with me! Val couldn't have given me the title of Earl, because I was female, so he went for the next best thing. I was the female version of Ciel to him! 

I couldn't wait to see Val again after that, and next time he showed just how important I was to him. 


	3. Promises and Picnics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As our friendship continues to grow, what kind of tree will it mature into? Val, as always, has an overly cryptic answer to that question.

There was a pagan festival one day, the biggest of its kind in where I lived. I was beyond excited to go, because I could showcase my faith without being called backwards for being friends with Loki's two youngest.

I asked Them if They wanted to go with me the night before we went, letting the question hang in the air of my bedroom before I went to sleep.

I closed my eyes as I waited for a response…

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was sitting on chalk cliffs this time. I could see a great expanse of the sea as I looked out across the water. Val was beside me. We had food laid out across the grass as we enjoyed the scenery around us. Val had a strawberry yoghurt open with a spoon inside it, teetering on the edge of the pot.

He suddenly produced a baguette or subway seemingly from nowhere. Val then tore the bread in half, giving the substantial bit to me, and keeping the smaller section for himself.

We ate in a comfortable silence for a while before I finished my piece of the sandwich. After I swallowed it, I leaned forward to check if Val was eating his half of the sandwich, but he wasn't. Instead, it lay on the grass beside him, completely untouched.

A part of me wanted to ask Val why he hadn't even attempted to eat it, but if he had an eating disorder some kind, it would a tricky subject to bring up now, as he looked content enough to just eat yoghurt. So, I simply brushed it off as Val had eaten before he came and therefore wasn't hungry enough to eat the sandwich. Why, then, had he taken a piece for himself?

I managed to ignore these pesky thoughts, instead opting to tell him about the festival. I babbled on about it animatedly, using my hands to gesticulate just how happy I felt when I had the opportunity to go.

I stopped for breath shortly afterwards, and beamed at him.

"So," I asked, panting, "are you coming with me tomorrow?"

The boy seemed to pause in thought for a minute before answering. He hummed a little whilst speaking.

"I am coming," he paused, taking his time to look at me directly, "but not in the form you expect." 

I knew very well about Val's ability to change shape. I had witnessed it with my own two eyes, but this answer was incredibly cryptic. 

Before I could ask him what he meant by that, I was pulled back into my own room. It was an exact copy of it. It looked almost identical, so much so, that I had to question if I was dreaming still or not.

I lay in my bed, and I began to wonder if I was alone. There was a beat before I noticed Val was here with me.

He sat cross-legged on top of my covers, face half hidden by a fox like mask, like those typical ones you can see in Japanese plays. His hair was a bold crimson, part of curling down his face in waves. He had his cloak on too, the bottom of it touching the duvet.

Val wasted no time in an introduction or explanation for me. He thrust some colourful gems into my hands. One was purple, and another was orange. He seemed to smile at me from underneath the mask before he spoke. His voice was serious and quiet, like he was imparting a great quest to me.

"Protect these with your life. I know I can trust you."

I woke up.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Low and behold, when we went to the festival the next day as a family, I found a Storax tree and sat underneath it. There were gems like the ones in my dream on my desk when we arrived home.

He really did care about me.


	4. Jeg Sverige Det!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have been companions for a short time now, telling each other everything. When will I have privilege to see Val's divine nature? 
> 
> That time is now. 
> 
> Am I truly prepared to suffer for my bond?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title should mean "I swear it!" in Norwegian, illustrating the nature of my (possible) blot involving the Twins. I knew I must have swore some sort of oath here, if the blazing pain in my wrist during the dream was anything to go by, but I'm not sure how I exactly did it.

By now, the Twins and I (even though I hadn't met Narfi prior to this , I knew He was there) had some sort of agreement. I'd tell Them I was going somewhere special, and then I would ask Them if They wanted to go with me. I could interpret my dreams following the question a yes or no answer. In my experience, They have always said yes, never refused.

We usually go to the beach in the summer holidays. One year was slightly different. I asked Narfi if He would shadow my steps beforehand. I knew that the boy would enjoy our holiday, because I have experience to to agree with the UPG that says Narfi is fascinated by anything to do with the ocean or marine life.

I hadn't forgotten His Brother though, and after I had inquired about Val's mental well-being, I asked Him personally if He would join us. I expected a negative answer because Val avoids anything that even remotely reminds Him of His Brother like the plague.

There was radio silence in my head as I waited for an answer from Him, drifting off to sleep…

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was on a promenade or pier as I looked out onto the beach. I could see a boy making an advanced sandcastle. He was decorating it with tiny flags and little shells, delicately placing them with his small hands. When it seemed he had finished, he looked me directly in the eyes.

His face was tanned, covered in freckles, and his hair was a vibrant shade of ginger, bleached partially by the summer sun. His eyes were a calming shade of blue, deep and rich like those lagoons in tropical countries.

The boy turned his body towards me, twisting as if he was going to pick something up. He spoke with his eyes, but I could hear a voice in my head.

"If you're looking from my brother, he's up there. Please help him."

From those solemn words, I knew exactly who I was speaking to. I noted the sad and worried tone in Narfi's voice. He had many Brothers, but the issues concerning only one of Them could elicit a response like that.

I turned around, and saw there was a little alfresco dining area with an overhang behind me. It was stripey, alternating between red and white.

The area underneath was unlit, but in the darkness I could see that there was a long table, lined with low stools on either side. I saw Val sitting on one of them, and I walked up to Him. He stood up when I arrived at the spot He occupied, and smiled for a brief second. His smile then morphed into a resentful frown.

"I'm sorry, but this has to happen."

Before I had a chance to reply, Val seized my wrist. For a moment, nothing seemed to happen, but then pain exploded by my eyes and I saw all colours of the rainbow. My wrist felt like it was going to fall off, nerves being burnt to a crisp. I smelt various flowers, but mostly lavender.

"Please, stop it!", I pleaded between sobs, "Vali, it hurts!"

He ignored my cries for what seemed like forever. All of a sudden, though, Val stopped what must have been a binding spell, and I was allowed to look down at my arm.

On the skin of it was a black Laguz rune, looking as if had been painted on to my wrist. The skin surrounding it was red, sore, and puckered. (A common result of burns.)

I had just enough courage to look up at Val with my tear stained face, wrist still ringing with pain, before I gave a little mewling cry, and I wondered (not for the first time) what I had gotten myself into. Val, at least, looked a little ashamed at causing me pain.

I woke up.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I woke up, I had to actually check if my arm was okay, because even in real-life, it felt tingly and numb.

We had a good day at the beach, and I got a sunburn on the exact same arm the Laguz rune. It was, as with all sunburns, sensitive to the touch.

I still believe that, to this day, it was a physical manifestation of my oath.


	5. After the Cameras Have Turned Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accidental visit to my mini Avalon has me questioning whether I should've been keeping a closer eye on Val's mental health... 
> 
> (And the answer is of course yes; this is Vali we're talking about! Why didn't I see anything sooner?!)

I didn't do anything special on that day; the day that Vali finally, _truly_ let me in: to see how just badly He was faring without His ~~brother~~ _(sibling! Say sibling!)_ alive; the day He started letting his walls crumble. _(Such a crying shame about what happened afterwards then; when He realized we weren't just **friends (definitely more)** Val began to pull away. It all ended in flames after that.) _

I'd started chatting with the Boys about anything and everything. They were exceptionally brilliant company, They were hanging around with me night and day. Still, I didn't expect to shed light on His mental health problems this early on... 

\----117----

I was in our special place again, but nothing had changed. 

Time of day? _Same._

The stars? _Identical._

Willow trees? _Sturdy as ever._

Fireflies? _Yep, still here._

_Except..._

No Val. 

I _knew_ He had problems. As a Lokean, how could I not? In fact, that had hovering in the back of my mind since we'd met. But, so far, Val hadn't shown outward signs of depression. (Or, at the very least, not any ones He'd let me see.) Therefore, Val's _little disappearing act_ had me worried beyond belief. ~~_(Had he committed-?_~~ _)_

 _No,_ I reprimanded myself strongly, even as my panic grew, _do not think like that. He likes you.  That must count for something! _

_Yeah,_ the pessimistic part of my mind countered, _but what if that something (elske? (NO! You can't tell Him yet!)) isn't enough? (IT HAS TO BE!)_

Sheer terror made my limbs uncoordinated as I broke into a wild run, very nearly skidding down on my way to the lake. As it was, I only managed to stop myself from tumbling into a graceless heap, were it not for the tree I crashed into.

Shaking, I peered round the tree. In a split second decision, I'd chosen to use it for cover, because I got the distinct feeling I wasn't privy to what I was currently seeing...

Val was limping across the lake (I'd long gotten used to the fact He could walk on water by this point. In fact, during our _very memorable_ chess match, He'd sat on it rather than any form of of solid ground; I was too focused to actively bring it up.) putting most of His weight on the left foot whilst dragging the right. He had a staff in the corresponding hand; Val must've been using it as a crutch.

It was painted black; all of it, bar the runes, which were written in a white, chalk-like substance that seemed to sparkle; a stark contrast to the background on which they stood. Its head was that of a hawk; beak bare and eyes fierce, a void of black. It, along the neck, was adorned with beads and feathers of various colours.

From the pained grimace on Val's face, I knew that this simple task was agony for Him. Believe me when I say I _really, really_ wanted to help Him, but the sheer force of a simple truth had my feet rooted to the ground; a truth that could be summed up in three one-syllable words:

_He's like me._

By the time I'd cleared my head, Val had made to the other side of the lake, sitting down heavily with a little audible _umph_ and a grunt. I then saw Him undo His cloak, and look down at His hands. They were trembling badly. Val then looked up at the starlit sky. Silent tears were streaming His face. It took all my willpower to not rush forward and hug Him right then and there.

 _Oh_ _Vali,_ I thought, _You do not have to suffer through this alone._

 _Jeg elske deg,_ I vowed quietly, even though I didn't know what those words meant at the time. My instincts told me that they meant _something_ concerning my feelings towards Vali.

At that moment, I heard Val's voice in my head.

_I'd been caught._

"You're not supposed to be here." He said, plain as day. His words were clipped, tone slightly gruff. There was a distinct _curl_ in the way He said "here" that told me He was very annoyed, if not visibly angry, at my intrusion.

Before I could explain myself, I felt as if I was being lifted off the ground, pointlessly waving my limbs in the air.

In midair, I saw Val's face again. He was frowning at me, and there were tear tracks running down His cheeks still. _Vali can't allow Himself to be with me,_ I thought longingly, _He doesn't believe that He deserves to be happy._

Val shook His head, and I had no time to react as I was violently thrown across the clearing, making everything go black.

I woke up.


	6. 6.1 Birth of the S.S.I.P.L / 6.2 En Dans, Min Damen? / 6.3 The Heir of Slytherin (is a Child of Loki, Obviously)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One night, one dream, but three different encounters with the same Lokason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These three different dreams are too short to be posted independently of one another, hence the separate chapter titles.
> 
> The title for 6.2 should mean 'A Dance, My Lady?' in Norwegian. BTW, all Norwegian titles are probably in Bokmal Norsk, rather than Nynorsk, because the former is the dialect in which most, if not all, stuff is written in Lukas' backyard. (A ref from your fellow Hetalian!)

**~6.1- Birth of the S.S.I.P.L - ~**

For once, I was grounded; my movement felt restricted, an all-too familiar stiffness was in my body. I was seated, unable to stand, and yet, it did not bother me in the slightest. If my punishment for technically spying on Val was to experience what was but a mirror of my waking life then so be it. In fact, I daresay it wasn't a punishment at all.

This time, I couldn't see anything. I was blind, immersed completely in a sea of black. I could've have been anywhere in the world, and I wouldn't have known it.

I was suddenly broken out of my musings by Val appearing a few feet away from me. His hair was white as it had been when I had last saw Him, and His eyes were that intoxicating apple green once again. Val's arms were crossed, stance rigid, and He wasn't looking at me. He gave me a sidelong look, and at once I felt like a small child squirming under the disapproving gaze of a parent.

Despite the above circumstances, my arm reached out to touch Val. It was, I knew, a pathetic plea for clemency. It soon dropped back against my body, however, when He turned to face me fully. His sharp eyes were narrowed, calculating. The overall coldness of His posture and facial expression brokered no permission for physical contact.

"So, our 'no touching' rule still stands, then?" I said more than a little sheepishly, with a laugh. I was trying to aim for humour, to make our encounter less awkward.

It was also an unspoken boundary that I shouldn't try and hold His hand. With near a millennia of self-imposed isolation on His shoulders, who knows how He'd react to being touched? I certainly didn't.

The attempt to lighten the situation was not lost on Val; He was perceptive as ever. The beginning of a small smile, the trademark Lokason smirk perhaps, pulled at His lips, before His expression was quickly schooled into one of bored disinterest.

I looked down, then, at His feet, which were bare, and I tried to hold back a sniger. You see, I'd recently discovered our interest in class-based RPGs was mutual; I thought it was a throwback to when He'd had the privilege of organizing a military unit, like the Prince Val used to be.

_Did He love Kamui that much to go shoe-less everywhere He went? Probably._

"It does." Came Val's sudden reply, making me jump in surprise. My gaze quickly returned to the face of the Boy in question.

I watched on, nervous as I was; torn between obeying indirect orders and giving Val the help He blatantly needed. Only one thought had me completely ignoring those commands: 

_You cannot **force** someone like Vali to get help. You have to wait until they **ask for it.**_

Val tightened His arms around Himself as if He was cold, and I took that as my cue to start talking.

"I think we should establish some connection, so You can talk to me while I'm awake." I suggested hopefully.

"Great idea. What should we call it?" Val answered, leaning forward minutely. He had barely moved. His whole figure seemed to be as taut as a bowstring tonight. 

"We should call it the Super Secret Inter dimensional Phone Line!" I exclaimed excitedly, barely stopping for breath. My words blurred into one another. 

"No." Val disagreed, shaking His head and frowning, "That's too long."

I went on, undeterred by His pessimism. Furthermore, I could see that Val was starting to spiral downwards (I think that the phrase is 'down the rabbit hole', maybe?) and I'd vowed never to let that happen again. Because of that, my next words were an attempt to placate Him. My voice softened, as a way of inviting Him into the conversation. I realized that I was leaving Him out of our brainstorming thing, and if there was one thing that made Him not just upset, but downright _furious,_ it was **that.** Far too many people had dismissed Him because of His unstable mental state.

He was sick of it.

_**Sick. Of. It.** _

"An acronym, then?"

Val allowed Himself to relax a little at this. An easy smile graced His features, but the rest of His body was still locked in that protective position, arms wrapped snug around His waist. I counted it as a victory, however small. 

"Calling it the S. S. I. P. L sounds hilarious, right?" I chuckled. 

"Yeah," Val laughed back breathlessly, if a little forced, "but the first S should be silent. " Val was clearly trying to soak up my enthusiasm here, but it certainty wasn't working. 

"It should _totally_ be silent!" I exclaimed with a giggle. 

"Totally." Val echoed tiredly. 

"Henceforth, today shall be known as the Creation of The S. S. I. P. L!" I beamed.

I was then completely shocked to see that Val was no longer a few feet away from me, but just a few steps away. He reached out to touch me for a second, before deciding against it. He clicked His fingers loudly near my ear; I couldn't help but flinch at the volume of it. I looked up at Val. He seemed so sad because He'd made me jump. There was this pained expression on His face; eyebrows creased and mouth parted slightly like He wanted to apologize, but didn't know what to say. 

Val abruptly turned and strode away from me. 

"Little Sparrow, it's time for you to leave. "

I was too bewildered to even notice that He'd used a term of endearment for me. 

"Leave?!" I splutterd, subconsciously quoting Nori's words from Lord of the Rings, "But I only just got here!"

"You'll wake up soon." Val explained softly. I wasn't having any of it. 

"But I wanna stay with you!" I pleaded, near desperate. 

"Please, you're going to _have_ to leave. " Val explained even softer, sighing. I knew He was trying to comfort me; His words had an unhidden soothing quality to them, like the verbal form of a kiss or a hug. 

"Alright." I sniffed. I recognized that I must've been acting like a baby, but Val didn't seem to care. "Will we see each other again?"

"We will. I hope you have a really nice day tomorrow." Val offered pleasantly, voice as soft as silk, but as rich as velvet.

_(Did I just really say that out loud? Yes, I did. Sue me, I was in love with Him. I still am!)_

Everything before my eyes began to grow blurry, and, in light of the send off Val had just given me, I happily accepted that I was gently being guided out of the dream. (Rather than being violently ripped from it as I was usually.)

And just like that, I was blind once again...

**\----117----**

**~6.2 - En Dans, Min Damen? -~**

For the third time since Val and I had met, I found myself near the lake. I saw Val again, on the other side of it, and ran (yes, I actually _ran!)_ to meet Him. I ran around the lake so fast that I bumped into Val's chest without stopping.

I looked up at Him, and offered yet another sheepish grin. His jade eyes sparkled with clear surprise as He gave a astonished smile of His own. 

Val's untied ruby hair brushed against my shoulder, and I giggled girlishly as Val held His hands for me to take.

"Shall we?" He asked.

"Shall we?" I parroted, too stunned to comprehend what He was saying. _Val was going let me **touch** Him! I was overjoyed!_ "Shall we _what?"_

"Dance."

I was only too happy to comply with it, taking His request without a second thought. We started with a slow waltz, twirling around in Val's arms. Despite the easy tempo of this formal dance, I felt my eyelids drooping shut. I let myself lean a little closer into Val's chest, relaxing a little more into the rhythmic sway of our movements.

I fell asleep Val's arms, only to... 

**\----117----**

**~6.3 - The Heir of Slytherin (is a Child of Loki, Obviously) -~**

...open my eyes a few minutes later. 

I drew my breath and pulled my head out of a bucket of water to find that I had a whole apple between my teeth. I looked down at it to see that contained six or so apples (at a guess) that were neither fully red nor green, but instead were a hybrid of both. Apparently, I'd been bobbing for them and won. I smiled at my victory, and took a hearty bite of it, deliciously enjoying the spoils of my success. 

I gazed up at the sky, then, and saw it was the height of summer. The sun was in my eyes, and I blinked furiously to clear my vision. When the sun had seemingly moved away, I noticed that there was a tree a few paces behind me (sycamore or storax? I couldn't tell.) 

Several seconds passed before I realized that Val was sitting in one of its branches, His legs dangling idly (I tried not to think about what _that word usually_ meant when used discussing issues pertaining to Him) as He greeted me with a friendly smile from where He sat. Val then patted a spot beside Him. Instantly, I knew what He was trying to say without words, and I gingerly obliged. Without thinking, I quickly scrambled up the tree, and welcomed Val with a grateful smile that mirrored His own. 

I saw that Val held a book in His hands; I effortlessly recognized it as one of the Harry Potter books because of the white cover and the Hogwarts shield that adorned it, but I couldn't tell which one it was, for the title was blurry. Regardless, I've always really liked the HP books, so I asked Val cheekily if He would read it to me. 

Val gave a surprised chuckle as He opened the book and allowed me to settle into a comfortable position, with my head in His lap. Val began to read. 

"Once upon a time..." He laughed. I knew for certain that none of them ever started like that, but I was too preoccupied with the fact that Val was in a good mood tonight- a stark change from earlier, when He'd barely spoken. Things were looking up for Him (and us.) 

I let myself be lulled to sleep by Val's voice as my slid shut for the second time that night. 

Unfortunately, I woke up a few minutes later. 


	7. Walk on Your Knees!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The higher you fall from, the more painful it is when you finally hit solid ground. 
> 
> (Or: The true story of how a budding relationship ended in frigid flames, tied with a supposedly unbreakable promise that might as well have been a death wish.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was probably the most hurtful chapter to write, as well as the easiest to write (in terms of how vivd it was, next to only the next chapter I plan to do.) 
> 
> To start with, I actually wanted to call this one 'Fall from Grace', but I thought that it would be better to save it for the FE Eldergard character study I'm going to do after I finish the Black Eagles route. 
> 
> (To start off with, I've picked the Ao Raion (Blue Lion - Japanese) 'cause Dimitri sounds like a really nice guy to romance, and their storyline is deceptively simple, and I love it when does that. It has lots of twists and turns.)

It started out the same as the other dreams I'd been having the past few nights: ones with an oddly luminescent lake, a permanent blanket of starts in the sky, and a Boy I had grown exceptionally close to. 

Speaking of, I saw Val, and attempted to approach Him with the same enthusiasm that I had within me the last time. I stopped at the edge of lake and waved amicably at Him. Val forwent any of friendly greeting, nor did He bother to look up, but instead said this in a very abrupt tone of voice. 

"You've grown too attached. " _To me_ was decidedly left unsaid, but I heard it anyways. 

"What? But I..." I began, voice strained with the effort of keeping myself together. Blubbering would only prove to Vali that He was correct.

"But nothing. You cannot love someone like me." Val finished, voice frigid and cutting, sharper than Japanese steel.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, voice rising in volume as my emotions grew more turbulent.

"You're digging yourself into a hole you will never climb out of. You're getting too deep into this. I advise that you stop while you still can." Val stated calmly. I was astounded at how uncaring He sounded. _Did I really mean that little to Him?_

"I will not." I declared boldly, daring to take a few steps towards Him. "I want to stay with You."

""You can't. You're being delusional." Val argued through gritted teeth. He looked away from me, and then I saw a lone tear run its way down Val's face, and some small, vindictive part of me felt victorious at Vali's minuscule show of emotion. If this was the only way of getting Him to reveal why He was pushing me away, then so be it.

"DELUSIONAL?!" I screamed, red faced. I also had finally had enough of Vali toying with me, playing (extremely) hard to get. "I AM **_NOT_** DELUSIONAL! WHAT ABOUT US, HUH? WAS ALL THE **_FUN_** YOU HAD WITH ME A BLOODY LIE?" I took a deep breath, choosing to continue on significantly quieter, pleading, and quite frankly, exhausted. "Please, I want to _help_ You."

I was completely taken aback when Val retorted with a scream of His own; one I am tempted to describe as a _howl or a roar_ , but then that would be offensive; attaching animalistic qualities to Him is a grave insult, one of the few things that makes Him truly angry*. 

"GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD, YOU'VE BEEN LIVING A FANTASY! YOU CAN'T **_SAVE ME!_** " The pure fury of those words felt like molten iron. 

"I don't want You to go where I can't follow. I pledged my loyalty to You, and I plan to keep my oath. Keep it!" I pleaded tearfully. 

"DON'T YOU GET IT? I DESERVE THIS!" Vali gestured wildly around Himself, with an almost feral glint in His eyes. Today His hair was matching them: they were both untrained, and that umissible wine red again. (I admit that I preferred it when He had red hair instead of white.) "ALL OF THIS, IT'S MY FAULT! YOU SHOULD LEAVE ME ALONE TO CURL UP AND DIE! IT'S WHAT EVERYONE ELSE DOES! JUST LEAVE ME! JUST... JUST GO! GO!"

By the time Val had finished His rant, He was breathing heavily, chest heaving as anger swirled around in His head. At that moment, honestly, He looked more animal than person. Automatically, I threw caution to the wind, taking off as if my life depended on it. (And, a soulless part of my mind suggested, _it probably did.)_

"Go on, " Val called after me bitterly, hollow voice lingering in the air as I ran, "Run away. Run away from the monster you know I am."

I was on the crest of a small grass mound when I stopped and spun around, yelling in His direction, "You wanted me to!"

There was a pause, and then... 

"Look, we could compromise." Came Val's hesitant offer. 

I was too enamored by the possibility of spending more time with Val. "Compromise? I edged closer to Him, and eventually I was once again at the border of the lake. 

"If you're all about oaths, you can do this for me." Val left space for a poignant pause here. "I can make you swear in my mother's name that you'll never see me again. I can bind you to that. That's the kinder option. " At least He didn't sound so livid anymore, but that detached coldness was back. At once, I realized something that made dread settle within me... 

"In Your Mother's Name. " I repeated quietly to myself more than anyone else. I knew what those words meant. The oath that I was going to be taking in the next few minutes was, by all meanings of the word, unbreakable. His Mother was the Goddess of Fidelity.

"Oh, if I have to. " I very nearly wept. 

"You have to. " Vali confirmed coldly. 

"Alright," I breathed, still close to tears, "I swear that," I gulped, continuing, "in Your Mother's Name," a strangled sob clawed its way out of my throat. I glanced at Vali for a second, who was staring at me expectantly, obviously waiting for me to proceed. His eyes seemed to be showing no emotion. "I will never try to contact You outright again."

"Good." Vali nodded sharply, bowing a little.

 _Bowing to me like that will not redeem You in my eyes._ I thought viciously, turning and marching away from Him.

A gradual curtain of black descended upon my vision, and then I soon woke up.

**\----117----**

Vali's words of rage left me shaken for the entire day. They felt like a huge, dark weight upon my shoulders, a geos** that left me empty. I felt the absence of His presence most keenly at night, when the room was just too big for one person. Despite this, I still held onto the hope that Vali would come to see sense, that He'd let people see through the cracks, and that I'd be allowed to be there for Him; to catch Him if He ever fell. I cared for Vali, thought about Him, prayed for Him too.

I told no one of this, of course. Who would ever believe me?

It was many, many months before I saw either of The Twins again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *- He seems to like the kenning I made for Him, which does link Vali with wolves (you can find it in the beginning notes of Dagaz) but I've been given no indication that it offends Him thus far, so I'm fine for now. The actual kenning is probably surpassed by the fact that I've bothered to give Him one at all.
> 
> **- Geos is an old Irish Gaelic word meaning curse. They are often officiated by a blot, or an oath, either written or spoken.


End file.
